weird stuff i believed when i was a child

I was reading the story of Cain an Abel today and was reminded of what I believed about them when I was young.

In my children's Bible there was a picture of Abel's altar. The smoke from his offering went straight up to heaven. There was also a picture of Cain's altar. The smoke from his offering did not go straight up, but at an angle. So whenever my dad made a fire (for a "braai"/barbeque) I always tried to see if the smoke from his fire went straight up to heaven or not. Most of the time, it didn't. Needless to say, I was very worried about my dad.

I was also very shocked when, at the age of 18, I realized that the Bible doesn't say that there were three wise men. It only speaks of the wise men, and the gifts the bore - gold, myrrh and incense.

I believed in Santa. I also believed in the tooth mouse. Yes, Afrikaner people don't teach their children about the tooth fairy. We just know the tooth mouse. He collects teeth to build his house. When I was about 6 or 7, we lived in a house with a wooden floor. There was a tiny hole in the floor in our spare bedroom. My mom used to say that that was where the mouse would come into our house to collect our teeth. But then, I guess, they made a mistake by giving me a 1 rand coin, which was way bigger than the hole. So I started questioning the existence of this mouse. Eventually, after many questions, my mom told me that he doesn't exist, but that I shouldn't tell my sister.

My mom also used to tell me that if I eat while lying down, I would grow horns. So I tried my very best not to do this. But sometimes, when eating an apple or some other fruit, I would lie down and take a bite. Then I would get up and go to the mirror, part my hair and check whether or not the horns had started to grow. Speaking of fruit, I also believed that if I swallowed the seeds of an apple or watermelon or whatever, I tree would grow inside my body and out my ears. Maybe this is why I still spit out watermelon seeds. 

Oh, and I also believed that if I swallowed gum, my intestines would be tied into a knot and I would die. I can still remember the exact moment when I swallowed my gum for the first time (by accident). It happened as I was walking over some railroad tracks. I didn't want to tell anyone, because I wasn't allowed to chew gum. I just silently waited for death.

My parents also told me that I used to be a monkey that lived in the mountains. They caught me and chopped off my tail and that's how I became their child. 

But, despite what the professionals say, this (finding out that these things weren't true) didn't make me trust my parents less, or doubt the existence of God. So don't deprive your child of a wild imagination. I think I turned out okay, regardless of what my close friends would say. 

Here's a few other weird things I believed: - that all cats were girls and all dogs were boys, - that the crusts of sandwiches contained all the vitamins and goodness, - that pumpkin gives you curly hair and red cheeks (i wanted neither of these, so I tried not to eat pumpkin), - that people in portrait paintings are watching you, - that there was a ghost in our house and it lived in the stain on the bathtub (the stain formed because of a leaking tap and looked like a face)