if Zuma were a bus driver

Imagine our beautiful country as a big, shiny bus, and our dear President Zuma, the driver. We, the citizens, are the passengers, hanging our hopes of arriving somewhere, ANYWHERE, in one piece, on the driving skills of this man. 

When taking over the seat in 2009, he aimed to take us to a place called "Freedom and Democracy", but instead we are taking the scenic route to Socialism, stopping at places such as "Corruption", "Economic Disaster", "Interracial Hatred", "Unemployment" and "Academic Failure".

True, he didn't get a perfect bus to start with, but he's crashed it so many times, it's hardly recognizable. Why would any transport company re-employ a bus driver who can't drive? Why wouldn't they replace him with someone who has the skills to handle this kind of vehicle? Why would they watch passively as he crashes time after time? Wouldn't any normal company start doubting the driver's skills after the first incident? 

Yes, if Zuma were a bus driver, he would've been fired shortly after taking the wheel. But luckily he's not steering a bus, so we should be fine. O, wait, he's steering a country. Maybe that's easier? 

The ANC in Gauteng, Free State, KwaZulu-Natal, Mpumalanga, Limpopo and the Eastern Cape decided, during the past week, to accept JZ's apology. After all, he did apparently show humility and courage. I'm not sure that these two qualities are enough to rule a country, though. I'm not sure it fixes the root of the problem - the fact that Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma has never been "president material". He had been charged with rape, and also various counts of racketeering, money laundering, corruption and fraud even before he became president. But the nation still chose to put its trust in him - hoping that this leopard would change its spots. The rest of the world must think we're a bunch of idiots. 

The irony is, if Zuma drives South Africa off a cliff, everyone in it suffers the same fate - the ones who mistrust him, as well as the ones who trust him - those who chose to keep him there when they had the chance to get rid of him. We are all in the same boat. We all go down when the economy crashes, when schools and buses are burnt down, when infrastructure is destroyed, when there's power shortages, when criminals roam our streets and when the little money we have, is thrown into the bottomless pit of corruption.

Dear ANC, somewhere in your gigantic camp you must have someone better suited for the job than Jacob Zuma. Just give us someone honest, who knows how to guide a nation - a leader, a man who cares about people (other than himself), someone with integrity, someone who can see the beauty of this place and try to preserve it. Give us someone who can start to fix what has been broken and someone who will stand up for what is right, even in the midst of threats and opposition.

Or if this is too much to ask, at least give us someone who can count.

playing weatherman: TYPHOON SOUDELOR

I've decided to update the world on the super typhoon that is currently heading our way. While natural disasters can be devastating to the areas they hit, they also provide a certain amount of excitement to those nearby. We wanna feel the strong wind almost push us off our bikes. We wanna look out the window and see nothing but torrential rain. We want to get a day off work. We want to track the monster as it gets closer, predict its ways and witness the moment it turns into a category 4 or 5 typhoon. We want to be a part of the action. But only for a moment. Kind of like when you witness a big accident. It's terrible and you don't want to see it; except for the fact that you DO want to see it. Just a little bit. We are strange and curious and a little twisted that way.

Okay, here's what you want to know: 

Name: Typhoon Soudelor

Date: August 5 2015

Current strength: Category 3

Likely track: Ryukyu Islands (Japan), Taiwan and Eastern China.

Typhoon Soudelor became a super typhoon on Monday, after it hit Guam. At that point it was equivalent to a Category 5 hurricane, with sustained winds of 180 mph. It has already started to lose strength, but it is still a dangerous typhoon. It is expected to gain strength again before hitting Taiwan. It's the most powerful tropical cyclone on earth so far in 2015.

5-day forcast (wunderground.com)

satellite image (wunderground.com)

computer model (wunderground.com)

storm history (wunderground.com)

Some more stats from the Central Weather Bureau (Taiwan):

》Analysis

0600UTC 05 August 2015       Center Location　19.9N　133.7E       Movement  WNW  22km/hr       Minimum Pressure  930 hpa       Maximum Wind Speed 48 m/s       Gust 58 m/s       Radius of 15m/s  250km       Radius of 25m/s  80km

MORE NEWS about Typhoon Soudelor - posted in the past hour (Current time: 5pm Taiwan):

http://www.news.com.au
http://www.stripes.com
http://www.trust.org
https://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki (Chinese)

Billy-Bob, the green Iguana

Mike and I just got our first pet - a baby Green Iguana named Billy-Bob. So now I'm a reptile person. I guess it's better than being a cat person. (No offense to cat-lovers. It's just... I really, really, really don't like 'em. Maybe it's a personality clash)

We've been reading up on iguanas a lot over the past few days. We now know that they're purely vegetarian. They love everything from mustard greens to mango and dandelions. They like climbing up and down things. Mostly up. And up. And up. Little Billy-Bob even tried to climb up the wall with the brick wallpaper. It's weird how his instinct told him he could probably do it. I don't think he's ever even seen a rough brick wall. He's only two months old. He explores his environment by flicking his tongue. He's been doing that a lot.

Something else we discovered, is that iguanas are not at all like chameleons, even though right now, they kind of look alike. They don't have long tongues, because they don't hunt for flies and other gross insects. Iguanas are much faster than chameleons.  They run. They jump, or leap. Obviously, they don't change colour. Chameleons will probably never hurt you. Iguanas can bite or even slap you. Also, chameleons stay small and cute forever. Iguanas grow to over a meter long (sometimes two), and they become, well... "less cute". I'm hoping that, because I will see him every day, I won't notice when he gets all scary-looking. Kind of like how you only notice how much someone has aged when you haven't seen them for a few years. 

Back to our baby. I never thought I'd say this, but Billy-Bob is pretty darn cute. Right now, he's just sitting in his cage - obviously as high up as possible - looking at me. Well, I'm never sure what he's looking at, because their eyes don't quite work like ours. But let's say he's looking at me. I wonder what he's wondering about. I wonder what the world looks like through his eyes. I'm not saying I wanna trade places, because I can't imagine a life of just lying around and "wondering about things". But I'm curious about what goes on in his mind. Is it all hormones and instinct? Or does he actually think about things? 

I think I need to go rescue him, because I don't know if he knows how to get down from his... O wait, there he goes - upside down, all the way to the ground. You did it, Billy-Bob! 

half the year is gone - let's seize the rest of it

It's been a while since I've written something. I've been a bit sick - still am, actually. But at least today I felt like getting out of bed wouldn't make my head explode.

There are a few things on my mind, none of which I really want to get into today - like the horrible accident that happened in front of our house two days ago, or the whole rainbow pride thing. I'd rather just share with you my strategy for success for what's left of 2015.

1. About God:  Find out what His will is for me, and do it. Get close to Him, so that I can
    know His heart about all matters at all times.

2. About relationships:  Have FUN with my husband. Spend quality time with close friends
    and go out and do some new stuff together. Go to towns that we haven't visited before.

3. About finances: Take it one day at a time. Don't just try new things, but stick to what I've
    started. Persevere. MAKE. IT. WORK. Tithe, invest and plan, but also spend a bit, and
    bless others.

4. About time management: There's a lot of time in each day. Make use of it. Watch less TV.
    Spend less time on electronic devices. Have a "to-do" list, and DO the things on it.

5. About health: Start exercising again. Have a schedule and stick to it. Eat more
    vegetables. Oh, and floss daily.

There you have it. That's my plan for success for the second half of 2015. What's yours?

closing car doors and classical conditioning

Yesterday morning, while doing some stuff at home, I heard a few car doors close outside, and caught myself feeling instantly happy - almost expecting something awesome to happen. That's when I realized that my reaction was just the result of years of classical conditioning as a child. Whenever I heard multiple car doors close, I knew that visitors had arrived - most of the time for a whole day of merriment - which usually included a braai (BBQ), playing with friends and swimming till after sunset. 

The image that came to mind, was that of the house we lived in when I was in primary school.  Weird how this conditioning continues, even though I've heard many car doors close after the age of 13 - most of them with gloomier connotations - weird people showing up at our door step, my sister's boyfriends coming to visit or the crazy lady down the street coming to chat to my mom about all kinds of crazy things.

Have you noticed any sounds (or songs) or even smells, that trigger a certain feeling or emotion in you?

stepping on monkey toes

Although there is a lot a lot a lot of scientific proof that the evolution of man is just ridiculous, that's not what I'm going to bless you with today. (Somewhere out there, I heard hundreds of you just give a sigh of relief.) Nope, today I'm not going to be scientific AT ALL. I rather want to applaud the followers of this theory with the following statement:

YOU GUYS REALLY HAVE THE MOST AWESOME BLIND FAITH THAT I'VE EVER COME ACROSS.

I mean, to believe that humans evolved from basically nothing over ... (dramatic pause)  biiiiiillllliiiiooooonnnsss of years;  plus that all this happened "by chance" is quite incredible. The fact that we have bodies that function perfectly:

- a heart that keeps on pumping at the right speed, delivering blood through a network of perfectly placed arteries and veins

-  a digestive system that converts food into something your body can actually use, through a sequence of mechanical and chemical processes

- a nervous system that connects every part of the body to the brain through a highly specialized cell called the neuron, that carries electrical impulses along perfectly placed neural pathways

- a respiratory system that controls the lungs and muscles in order to get oxygen to be absorbed into the bloodstream 

Obviously there are many more magnificent processes to be named. But to think that every one of these things came into existence by accident is quite amazing. Seriously. I don't think my faith could sustain a "shot in the dark" like this one. 

Plus, morality, feelings, justice, reasoning and all the "unseens" just jumped into the mix at some point. By accident. No plan. No greater design. Just natural selection and a great deal of luck.

Is it really more realistic to believe in a gazillion processes happening by pure chance, than to believe that there is a Designer... an Author... a Creator God behind it all? Is it more realistic that we share common ancestors with rats, or trees, or rocks, than to believe that man was made in God's image and formed with His own hands? How hard must it be to believe that there is absolutely no purpose or plan to life. To YOUR life. 

We live. We die. 

The end. 

                           ...Seriously?

weird stuff i believed when i was a child

I was reading the story of Cain an Abel today and was reminded of what I believed about them when I was young.

In my children's Bible there was a picture of Abel's altar. The smoke from his offering went straight up to heaven. There was also a picture of Cain's altar. The smoke from his offering did not go straight up, but at an angle. So whenever my dad made a fire (for a "braai"/barbeque) I always tried to see if the smoke from his fire went straight up to heaven or not. Most of the time, it didn't. Needless to say, I was very worried about my dad.

I was also very shocked when, at the age of 18, I realized that the Bible doesn't say that there were three wise men. It only speaks of the wise men, and the gifts the bore - gold, myrrh and incense.

I believed in Santa. I also believed in the tooth mouse. Yes, Afrikaner people don't teach their children about the tooth fairy. We just know the tooth mouse. He collects teeth to build his house. When I was about 6 or 7, we lived in a house with a wooden floor. There was a tiny hole in the floor in our spare bedroom. My mom used to say that that was where the mouse would come into our house to collect our teeth. But then, I guess, they made a mistake by giving me a 1 rand coin, which was way bigger than the hole. So I started questioning the existence of this mouse. Eventually, after many questions, my mom told me that he doesn't exist, but that I shouldn't tell my sister.

My mom also used to tell me that if I eat while lying down, I would grow horns. So I tried my very best not to do this. But sometimes, when eating an apple or some other fruit, I would lie down and take a bite. Then I would get up and go to the mirror, part my hair and check whether or not the horns had started to grow. Speaking of fruit, I also believed that if I swallowed the seeds of an apple or watermelon or whatever, I tree would grow inside my body and out my ears. Maybe this is why I still spit out watermelon seeds. 

Oh, and I also believed that if I swallowed gum, my intestines would be tied into a knot and I would die. I can still remember the exact moment when I swallowed my gum for the first time (by accident). It happened as I was walking over some railroad tracks. I didn't want to tell anyone, because I wasn't allowed to chew gum. I just silently waited for death.

My parents also told me that I used to be a monkey that lived in the mountains. They caught me and chopped off my tail and that's how I became their child. 

But, despite what the professionals say, this (finding out that these things weren't true) didn't make me trust my parents less, or doubt the existence of God. So don't deprive your child of a wild imagination. I think I turned out okay, regardless of what my close friends would say. 

Here's a few other weird things I believed: - that all cats were girls and all dogs were boys, - that the crusts of sandwiches contained all the vitamins and goodness, - that pumpkin gives you curly hair and red cheeks (i wanted neither of these, so I tried not to eat pumpkin), - that people in portrait paintings are watching you, - that there was a ghost in our house and it lived in the stain on the bathtub (the stain formed because of a leaking tap and looked like a face)